Seriously, Chem Lawn, just stop. You’re embarassing yourself.

Seriously, not a stock photo.

Sadly, not a stock photo.

Every Spring it begins anew… The slowed down trucks as they pass by my house, the flyers left in my mailbox, on my doorstep, the phone calls… Chem Lawn (excuse me, I mean True Green) begins their courtship ritual. Every lawn service guy that rides down my street stares slack-jawed at the weed fest connecting the sidewalk to my house and thinks to himself: “My God, this woman clearly is unaware of her lawn issues, I’d better report this outlier hippie!”. I’m surprised they don’t break down the door and stage a full on intervention, I mean, I’m pretty sure they must think that the poor family that lives here must be tied up, duct tape over their mouths, unable to make that critical call to rectify the unacceptable state of their lawn! Because what other possible explanation for this dandelion-ridden, clover-filled, pathetic excuse for a lawn could there be??? Don’t they know that they live in a neighborhood full of people who have paid good money to have the bejesus blasted out their enormous lawns in the persuit of perfection? And that their dandelion fluff is ruining it for everyone??? Arrgh!!!! Seriously, lawn guy, calm down.

And of course the truth is… I do know. And I feel horribly guilty that my lawn is ruining it for everyone. I cringe with embarassment everytime I pull into the driveway. I keep thinking, when the lawn is mowed, it will look better… it’s totally going to blend in and everyone will will be fooled into thinking that we’ve taken care of the problem… but no. I swear those leggy yellow bastards conspire to lie down when that mower blade passes over them, only to slowly rise again like the zombie-dandelion apocalypse! Kill it with fire!

The temptation is HUGE every year to kill the weeds with herbicides because the natural products and fertilizer we have been using for years don’t work (and what are we fertilizing exactly? Not grass, that’s for damn sure). Part of me really wants my lawn to match the other lawns, if not for the sheer OCD-ness of needing things to visually “go” together.

There is a reason for the state of my lawn of course… a bunch of reasons. Millions, in fact, if we are going to count every living organism in a 1000 foot radius. But mostly it’s my kids who keep me from jumping off that cliff. My kids who are upset when we mow the weeds because “Mom, now what are the butterflies going to eat??” My kids who play and roll down the big hill, and wrestle with the dogs in the front lawn. My kids, who, upon seeing the side of a lawn service truck plastered with pictures of a green lawn and a giant butterfly that doesn’t exist in Nature remark that maybe using chemicals on your yard will breed mutant butterflies!! Um….no.  My kids, who remind me everyday that the creatures big and small are really grateful not to be soaked with toxic stuff.

So when I start to lose my resolve, and begin to leaf through that brochure that’s been left on my front door for the 50th time, I look to them to remind me why we don’t give in.

 

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Oh yeah.

 

Using social media without being a big Fakey McFakerton

My 5 year old made me this puppet- don't you love the eyebrows?

My 5 year old made me this puppet- don’t you love the eyebrows?

As an artist who is just starting out with getting her work out there, and hoping to become successful, I’m always looking for the ways in which I can give my business the best start possible. I like the notion that successful handmade market businesses are the ones that allow their own, authentic voice to shine through. Not only in the products they make, but also in all aspects of marketing. Don’t make things you wouldn’t buy, or give to a friend. Don’t use branding that doesn’t represent you. I don’t mean to say that I wouldn’t stretch my boundaries and try new things even if it is uncomfortable, I mean that I should listen to myself when trying to find the right fit, and really examine whether or not it allows me to use my authentic voice. My head is so saturated with social media right now, I was finding myself clenching my teeth every time I thought about it… not healthy! Here’s the thing- online businesses require online marketing, and for many people that’s waaay outside their comfort zone, present company included.

Facebook and I are not friends. (If you are reading this post via my Facebook page, I’m totally not talking about you) Yet, it is so hard for me to pinpoint the reason why. I’m testing out as much of the social media options as I can, and some are a better fit than others. I don’t use my personal Facebook page, only the business, but my husband’s page is always open, so I shamelessly scroll through it. I think what really ruins it for me are those people who find it perfectly within the realm of social normalcy to post the most horrible pictures from the OTHER side of the internet you know what I’m talking about stop looking confused.

So I’m all, scroll scroll

“Oh, Diana’s having a baby”

“Hey, looks like Jenn’s making vegan lasagna for dinner again”

Selfie

Selfie

OPEN HEAD WOUND.    

 

What. Is. Wrong. With. You.

 

Ok, ok… that never comes up on a business page, so it can’t really be the reason why I don’t click with Facebook. Continue reading

There will be bugs

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It’s that time of year again for us to visit family below the equator! 100 degree temperatures and cockroaches the size of Mint Milanos not withstanding, I am looking forward to our annual trip to Brazil.

Of course I’m happy to get out of this crazy cold weather, but something about international travel with two young children is a wee bit anxiety provoking… still packing at the last minute, terrified the kids will get sick, trying to remember that thing I was supposed to do…

Did I mention we are leaving in 5 hours? Continue reading

Clever post title goes here…

So I’m new at blogging, (hi mom!) but seems to me from reading other blogs that posting regularly is what helps most in building readership other than my mom. But what do bloggers find to write about every day? Let’s see what did I do today… I just came back from having my eyes dilated.  Should I write about that? That doesn’t seem very blog-worthy. From what I understand blog posts are supposed to be beautifully written tutorials about how to make your own shelves from tofu and pottery shards, accompanied by a well lit, perfectly filtered picture of said shelves.

You’ll have to settle for retina dilation today. Maybe I can assign it some deep meaning… Continue reading

The chickens are judging me again.

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This past holiday, my mother came for a visit and God love her, did the dishes for me one evening. (Ok, she did the dishes the whole time she stayed. And the cooking. And all the menu planning. What? She wants to. And I want her to want to. See? Everyone wins.)   Continue reading

When the dog won’t wear the diaper- what to do

This is Beans. She is ancient, senile, incontinent, and seems pretty ok with that.Image

As of late, Beans has taken to peeing in the house on (in order of her preference) A) the most expensive carpet, B) an extremely inaccesable place, or C) where ever someone is most likely to step while wearing only socks. Continue reading