Sitting in my studio the other day, from the corner of my thoughts, a little word floated up to meet me. Stubborn. That’s strange, I thought. I’m not thinking of any stubborn people, my kids are nowhere to be seen, why does my wandering brain want me to consider this word? There it floated, stubbornly. It was a little moment in my day that changed my perspective. I’m stubborn. What? No, no, no- I’m sweet and mild mannered, I don’t send food back at restaurants, or even return things that break, in fact I spend most of my day doing exactly what other people ask me to do.
Yet here I am, after a year of creating, developing, and researching this handmade business, inching toward my dream with such sloooow progress, and I don’t give up. No one in my life would describe me as stubborn, but I’m proving to myself everyday that I am. And I’m kind of liking it! It’s probably the strongest word I’ve ever used to describe myself, and I feel like wearing it like a badge of honor. I can’t let this dream go, and I know that I’ll never back down on this. It might change form a bit as I struggle to make a creative living happen, but I just know that I’m going to work at it, pour more into it, sometimes rage and rail at it, until it works. And that makes me both fiercely proud and kind of scared.
———- Brief intermission———–
So of course I got interrupted while writing this (I’m also making dinner, hanging laundry, and managing siblings), and it gave me a chance to think about what I’d written. As I stirred the macaroni, I realized: There’s another word to describe what I was writing about. Passionate. I like that one, too. I think I’ll wear both.